Before I had a kid, I had no idea how much work and worrying it would be. Becoming a father has given me an entirely new perspective on just about everything, from discipline to nutrition. One of the first thoughts that entered my mind upon hearing about the Virginia Tech massacre was empathy for all the parents of kids who attended that school. Imagine that you do your best to keep your infant, then toddler, then adolescent, etc. out of harm's way. You make it through all the bumps and bruises, broken bones and broken hearts. You somehow manage to navigate the turbulent sea of puberty without too many emotional scars. You achieve the goal of getting your kid to college so he or she can learn to sprout wings and fly on his/her own...and then, just when you think everything's going to work out just fine...a crazed gunman takes your love away from you. Just like that.
The grief and horror a parent must feel in that situation is unimaginable. Last night, when my wife got home from work, the 3 of us just played in the backyard and felt lucky to enjoy each others' company. The weather was picture-perfect...sunny and clear, but a blustery breeze kept it just on the comfortable side of cool. At just under four years old, Xander's not nearly mature enough to handle a discussion about what happened yesterday morning. His mother and I try our hardest to steer him from dangerous situations, but he's definitely a risk-taker. Not a day goes by in which we don't have to admonish him for something like jumping from a too-high slide, running where he's not supposed to, or engaging in countless other daredevil activities.
Anytime a tragedy strikes, I try to challenge myself to find a positive. Some instances like Sept. 11, 2001, are nearly completely devoid of a silver lining. When I hear about more than 30 students being gunned down in cold blood on a Monday morning, I can't help but again feel like I'm so fortunate to have such a marvelous young boy for a child. Sure, it's scary as hell to think about what could happen to him today, tomorrow, next week, or next decade...but all I can do is the best I can do to help him learn what he needs to know to be a great man.
I also can't help but think about all the crazy callers I've talked to through my years in Orlando radio. Some I've laughed with, some at. I feel like I've perhaps helped a handful of them by giving them someone to talk to when they had nobody else. I don't know that I've always tried my hardest to be sufficiently compassionate, but I can vow to start today. Even after almost fifteen years of caller-interactive radio in this city, I still try to put a human soul to every voice I hear. Even those who call to insult me or the show are doing so because they want or need validation in some way, shape, or form. Anyone can hurl invective, engage in verbal sparring, or simply hang up on "a caller from hell," but who can hear the warning signs of serious peril?
I like to think that I can. Some of the most rewarding moments I've ever had have been hanging up with a caller-in-need and truly feeling like I've helped to make a difference. Whether it's offering advice or feedback or simply a listening ear, I strive to be accessible and supportive to nearly everyone. In the broadcasting profession, where so much is about dollar signs and ratings points, I still find it vital to be available to anyone who needs me. It shouldn't take a national tragedy to serve as a reminder...but I would be lying if I said it didn't at least shake me up and plant that thought in my head that one of my primary objectives is to serve the public interest. If I can reel someone back in to the world rather than allow them to drift off into lunacy, it is time well spent as far as I'm concerned.
When we, as the Morning After Show, call ourself the "most interactive show in the history of man," we mean it. We don't screen out any of our phone calls, except in extreme cases (young kids, people who have already been on the air that day, our bosses) simply because we enjoy hearing from as many people as possible on any given morning. If there's ever something on your mind, you can always rely on us at 407-919-1059 between 5:30 and 10 AM, Monday through Friday. If you feel like nobody else wants to listen to your crazy ass, well...you might be right. However, we will not only listen to you but we might actually give you a nugget of insight that could help you turn your frown upside down. Or, at the very least, take your personal trauma and help it become compelling radio. Either way, nobody loses and nobody gets hurt.
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2 comments:
Listen, I listen to the show and I like it for the most part. But that had to be the most well written thing i've ever read from you. Very well put. And I too have truely realized all the gifts I have in my life. Just waking up every morning is a blessing. Thanks man. I needed to read something like this.
I think what happened in Virginia was 100% the fault of the staff and parents, and possibly the legal system. The man made his motives known, left signs of disturbance, and stalked women. He didn't want help he wanted to be known for something horrible. You could tell how methodical he was..He made a statemnt that he was only lashing out at "rich kids" as a scapegoat to really "self-justify" an act of what society would consider cruel.
They should have kicked him out of the school and isolated him to a ward to get mental help. Then again he was probably too far gone for help. These are my reasons:
1. The question mark on the sign in. If he can't write his name he can return to class when he finds his name.
2. He was taking pictures of students in the class and he stalked women. The judge should have immediately turned him into the state for observation and the parents of the two women should have demanded his expultion from the University.
3. The infamous writtings...psycho?? sociopath?? This is where the blame falls on the schools lack of adaquate protection of the students. THIS example should have been immediate grounds for a judical ordered obervation of sanity and expulsion from the school. The only semi-sane thing done was the teacher threatening to quit if student wasnt removed from here class.
4. When the first set of killing went down. The school should have went into immediate lock down. Obviously we did not learn from from the Columbine shootings..Gunmen/women..can travel, and at that point they didn't know how many there were.
5. The college students were making jokes as such "I think he could be a school shooter?" or something of the matter..Umm jokes like that are not jokes...They are concerns covered in fearful humor. When kids joke like that someone must have over heard, parents must have been contacted..even in passing conversation.
The fact of the matter is everyone is so blind to see what can and can't happen to them. Just like in most disturbances like school shootings, there are warning signs, parents know what is happening with their kids, and teachers know when something isn't right with a student. They put it off and shrugged it off and now 32 futures are lost because the lack of communication and false confidence. What they don't realize is through this terrible event and lack of protection of our young ones is and the media frenzy that surrounds it builds this guy up to be a marytr for other indivdiuals looking to lash out. There was already a news report of some 14 year old threatening to "out-do" VTech? If school officals and parents can't protect their children from others or themselves, then we need to really think about what the consequences are for something as simple as dropping you kids of at school..Who would have though something like going to college or highscool would provoke the question as "Is this the last time I am going to see my child alive?"
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